Office holiday party etiquette

Tis the season...For Holiday office parties!! A time when eager employees get the perfect opportunity to cozy up to their bosses - or ruin their reputations.

Offering up a toxic mix of free booze, pent-up frustration and awkward interactions, these festive soirees have been providing the grist for office gossip mills for decades.

They also have left careers in tatters.

Holiday parties are very dangerous; a person can ruin his or her career in just one cocktail party overload.

You need to remember that the office holiday party is more "office" than "party". Your career needs you to act accordingly.

We've all heard about the person who got so drunk at the office party that they groped a co-worker, told off the boss, and passed out under the buffet table. Monday morning they couldn't remember what happened, but they still had to try to work with those people.

You may have seen it happen. You may even have been the unfortunate who did it. Either way, you probably know what happened to that person. They were either fired outright or shut out until they resigned.

Very few companies tolerate that kind of behavior. Your attempt at being the "life of the party" may cost you your job.
It may also cost you your life, or at least your freedom. If you drive drunk, you may kill yourself or someone else. While some companies arrange for taxis or hotel rooms for employees who over indulge, and the Web is full of resources to help you avoid the problem, the final responsibility ultimately rests with you.

In order to help you avoid committing an office party disaster, follow my advice - don’t do any of the following:

1. Don’t get wasted. Pounding back a few brews and shooting tequila may have made you the king of your college frat parties, but ending an office party with your underwear on your head will get you few plaudits at work. Drink slowly and have just one or two drinks. Better yet, plain club soda or soft drinks are ALWAYS safe.

2. No kissy face with colleagues. Even if you’ve been salivating for months over the guy or girl two cubicles away, now is not the time to make your move. Whether you get to first base or get rejected, the result will be the same: you’ll become the butt of jokes for weeks, maybe even months.

3. Curb your inner stripper. A little dirty dancing will certainly get your boss’ attention. But you’re much better off impressing everyone with your mind rather than a bump and grind - even a silly one.

4. Invite the right date. Who you "roll" with reflects who you are. That guy or girl who doesn’t bathe regularly is a no-no. So is anyone who is covered in facial tattoos or piercings or includes the words “like”, “dude”, “yo” or “son” in every sentence.

5. Dress appropriately. This is the time to relax with your co-workers, not show off that new hip-hugging skirt, groin hugging trousers, any new Victoria's Secret purchase, Calvin's or C-IN2 Sling Support Lo No Show Profile Briefs. Keep your flesh covered.

Remember that the annual office holiday party is still a business function. It's wrapped in a social context, but it's still a business function. Many other business events have a social context, such as taking the client to lunch or attending the charity dinner to receive the award for the company. Those who observe your behavior at the office holiday party will remember it when they consider you for other business social events. The good news is it works both ways.

I'm not suggesting that your bosses are specifically watching your every move at an event like this. Obviously they can't watch everyone all the time. Besides, they are trying to enjoy the party and to use it for their own purposes. However, rest assured your behavior will be observed by someone whose opinion can impact your job and future.

Using it to your advantage

The good news is that you can just as easily use the annual office holiday party to advance your career as you can to cripple it. It's an opportunity for you to demonstrate your ability to handle business situations of a social nature, something that is required of senior level executives.

It's an opportunity for you to meet the CEO and other senior executives of your company that you might not have met before, or have seldom had the opportunity to speak with.
Finally, it is an opportunity for you to let your coworkers know how much you appreciate their support and assistance during the year.

You don't have to spend all night at the event, but you do have to attend. Plan to arrive soon after the event is scheduled to start. Everyone will still be "fresh". They won't have repeated the same greeting, and small talk several dozen or hundreds of times yet.

Find your host, the boss.
Thank him or her and take advantage of the opportunity to chat, but don't monopolize your host. Others will want to make their greetings too. Don't try too hard to make a good impression and end up making the wrong impression.

Mingle. Introduce yourself to someone you don't know. It may turn out to be someone who can help you on that next project. Or just someone who turns out to be an interesting person.
Not the mingling type? Then find someone who looks as miserable as you feel and speak to them. You'll both enjoy the evening more.

If you haven't eaten yet (came straight from the office huh?) go ahead and sample a few items from the buffet. Be sure to select things you can eat neatly, with one hand, while standing up. Stay away from salty or greasy foods that make you want to drink more. Choose foods high in starch and protein that will help slow the absorption of alcohol into your bloodstream.

Watch what you drink. Keep reminding yourself that this is a business event first and a party second.
A good idea, is to keep the drink glass in your left hand so when you shake hands with someone, your hand isn't wet or cold.

Take advantage of the party atmosphere. Seek out the individuals who can influence your career. Do your homework ahead of time so you can speak with them about their division's newest release, or their favorite sports team, or the play you saw last week. You can talk business, but don't "talk shop". After an appropriate interval, excuse yourself and move on.

When you have spoken to all or most of the bosses, coworkers, and new people you planned to, gracefully make your exit. As you leave, thank your host for the enjoyable evening.

One last thing. If you made any verbal commitments to any of the people at the holiday party, make sure to follow up on them. Try to write them down as soon as you get home so you don't forget.

Happy Holidays

Arranged marriages, Why? Why not?

What is an arranged marriage?

Arranged marriage is a marriage upon which two or more parties arrange a marriage between two persons. The parties arranging a marriage may pick suitors based upon financial security, religious and social upbringing, health, and many other factors.

These parties may be the parents of the unwed person, or matchmakers. Typically, the parent/matchmaker makes note of potential spouses for their daughter/son/client.

The two families may meet and the unwed persons decide whether or not to pursue getting to know each other. If so, there may be another meeting, or the two families may make a bond and the engagement is complete! An unwed person may go through many potential spouses until choosing one they like. Though sometimes in what many (somewhat appropriately) call forced marriage, traditional arranged marriages do not happen unless the unwed consent.

This type of marriage is predominantly practiced in the Middle East and South-East Asia, but it is also found in many parts of the world - even those you would not expect. It is both a celebrated tradition and a cultural taboo, but either way you look at it, there are both benefits, as well as downsides.

The traditional type of marriage in the west is arranged between the two unwed persons by themselves. Family usually plays a significantly lower role in the unwed couples choice. The unwed persons may know each other for a very long time until deciding to marry.

So, between these two types of marriage, one must wonder - which one is best?

Arranged Marriage In the West

Arranged marriage, in the west, is a very thought-provoking topic. In most situations, arranged marriage in the US is a very foreign concept, and many do not understand why a person would choose to marry someone they have not been with very long, if at all.

The thought that persons may have families or matchmakers help choose spouses on basis on so many aspects often is met with distaste and confusion, if not outright hate.

But Why is this? American culture values personalization, independence, and most importantly, the freedom to do almost anything. With this, eventually comes the desire to pursue relationships as wished. Since allowed, relationships before marriage are highly normal and one may be "in love" many times over.
The relationship before marriage gives personalization and comfort to the situation, The normality to have many partners and 'move on' from them brings independence, and the freedom to choose anyone to wed, even if their families do not agree or their life situation isn't quite as good is very appealing to the generations of today's western societies. There is nothing Americans love more than their freedom, and they are always willing to fight for it.

If we look back on the history of western culture, we will see various alterations and forms of arranged marriage. A prominent example would be in the 1950's, where girls often aimed to marry financially secure, handsome and respected men with good families and good records. Though also incorporating love before marriage, the 50's marriage norms were very much like arranged marriages, where if the families disagreed, it would not happen. That isn't to say some didn't elope, though. As the concept of freedom and american culture advanced, so did the concept of marriage soley on personal choice.

As recently as the late 1800's into the early 1900's, it was an extremely common practice in many if not all parts of western and european society for parents to be involved in the decision making of there children's marriages.

This doesn't mean that all in the west are opposed to arranged marriage, and some even aim for it. It even exists in subtle forms- We still see today, women eying the single doctor, and chasing after rich, wealthy tycoons - it's all over television and films, where the most appealing characters are the richest, person of high society, or most intelligent, or most trustworthy (sometimes not even the last 2, but if the first 2 are there, you'd see them being courted) and people flock to them because of it.

Arranged marriage - THE PROS

Proponents of arranged marriage believe that individuals can be too easily influenced by the effects of love to make a logical choice.

Arranged marriages can be a very happy time in someone's life - and for the rest of it.There are a number of considerable benefits, each of them important to leading a stable, good life. A few of the benefits correlating to arranged marriages are, if the right suitor is chosen:

• financial security. Families/matchmakers try and choose suitors who are secure and well-off in finances, which ensures that money will be something that is always able to be gained in the case of an emergency or other such events.
  
  
• cultural and/or religious understanding. Many times, the arranged spouses descend somewhat from the same type of culture, or share the same religion. This ensures that the spouses understand one others lifestyles, and it gives common ground and belonging to the "betrothed". In some cases, this preserves the cultural and religious identity of the persons and allows them to express it as they wish.
  
  
• avoidance of pre-marriage relationships/courtship. In some cases, people are very averse to the often awkward and time-consuming tango of dating and courtship. Arranged marriages often eliminate the years many waste dating multiple persons, and allow persons to find a good spouse without the need to do so.
  
  
• Addresses female anxiety. Studies have found that men are more eager for sex than are women. Women are more likely to set limits on such activity.
  With the assurance of a socially sanctioned marriage, women are less anxious.The new couple may engage in sexual intimacy within, perhaps, 10 days after the first introduction. Men need less patience and face less frustration.
  
  
• incompatibiliy is greatly lowered. Because of the many factors that go into choosing partners for an arranged marriage, compatibility is usually very good with all the areas taken into consideration (education, crime record, family, religion, etc.). Partners are arranged based of the similarities of these areas. The similarity between the two partners ensures that they understand each other, and are able to live comfortably as they have always been accustomed.
  
  
• divorce is more unlikely. Many proponents of arranged marriages point to the 0% to 7% divorce rate for arranged marriages in contrast with a 55% divorce rate for the United States.
  
  
• Modernity Modern arranged marriages, in contrast to classical ones, are not based on proscriptions but on pragmatic considerations. Often, parents can contribute to the offspring's life by utilizing the benefits of experience to choose the right mate for him/her. The common misconception is that the concept of arranged marriages imply traditional male-female duties. Modern western societies have also started practising arranged marriages in a cosmopolitan setting.
  
  
• equality. In matching spouses, some very important factors are generally met equally. Equality/similarity in education, financial situation, and other things is very good. For example, an arranged marriage could be stressed if one spouse earned the gist of the income, as it would pressure the other to earn more or cause them to feel dependent. Education, matched properly, could help so the partners feel equal in intelligence, therefore eliminating a stress or pressure of being 'dumb' or illiterate. Also, both being educated, the spouses are most likely to be equally rational and sensible in raising children or dealing with some issues.

Those were simply a few of the benefits to arranged marriage, There may be others,depending on where you reside in and the culture you belong to.

Arranged marriage - The CONS

Of course, with every advantage, there is a disadvantage. Amongst the arguments against arranged marriage, the most prominent are:

• dependence/inablility to choose a partner. In somes cases, when parents or elders help to choose a partner, it discourages the unwed person to think for themselves and consider whether or not they believe they would be compatible. In the case of this, if after a few years of marriage, if it is going unwell, it is easy for that person to then blame their parents for poor judgement.
  
  
• families too close for comfort. Some arranged marriages, in the case of which spouses are in an argument, it may be uncomfortable or odd for the families to become involved in situations otherwise better solved solely by the partners. Especially for those raised in the west, it may be strange or even stressful for the families to have too much of their noses in their business, even more so when they express their own views in the situation.
  
  
• love becoming the second most important thing. When it comes to arranged marriages, there is a saying, that goes "to think with your head and not your heart." (or something like that anyways) Yet, it is important to think with both. Spouses who think only with their head may end up realizing there is no emotional compatibility, and those who think only with their heart may end up realizing they do not have a stable future. Although love may come later, it is important to secure a stable future while in the present. Sometimes the spouses are in love at meeting, at marriage, or later. Love sometimes blossoms later and when it does, only strengthens the marriage and make the spouses happier. However, in the case where love does not blossom, help can be sought- and if nothing can be done, then the marriage was not right somehow.
  
  
• Arranged marriage is as good or as bad as the people arranging it. A forced mismatch, based on the values important to the arranger may not be as important to the parties involved.
  
  
• Arranged marriage may prove loveless. Some people dislike the prospect of being married to someone they do not already love. Partners in an arranged marriage are usually less likely to divorce for cultural reasons, so if the marriage does not work well, it can be a trap.
  
  
• Though supporters of arranged marriage may quote statistics of lower divorce rates, such practices are most prevalent in societies lacking equal economic standing for women. Thus, the lack of divorce in these societies cannot be necessarily interpreted as happier marriages whilst the economic variable is not constant. It's likely that in poorer countries, women have no option to divorce, whilst in richer countries, they do, thus one could posit that arranged marriages must pass an economic litmus test (put forth by the parents prior to the nuptials) and have little to do with spousal satisfaction. Additionally, social stigma is a major reason for low divorce rate. In reference to lower divorce rates, correlation is not causation.
  
  
• In developed countries arranged marriages can be seen as a form of (reverse) colonization. Arranged marriages are often used by people who have not integrated into the host nation's ways of marriage in order to maintain what they see as their culture, even though they may be second or third generation descendants of the original immigrants. This leads to racial tension in the host country.
  
  

Marriage- for better or for worse

Marriage is a very special and joyous part of many people's lives, and can bring together entire families or nations - as it has done and kept doing so in the past and will continue to do into the future. When one decides they want to marry sometime during there life, it can be very stressful or exciting - and all they must do is choose how.

As with any kind of marriage, all are blessings in their own way and should be looked upon as such.

Arranged Marriage - my personal beliefs:
I believe that all sorts of marriage are suitable and joyous - but I think that certain types of marriage are for certain people. I feel that the concept of arranged marriages may have been right in it's initial and true form, but over time, culture and personal opinions diluted what may have been a good idea at one time or another, and turned it into something that is looked upon with with disgrace and ridicule.

But that's just me... What do you think? Arranged marriages...Yes? No? Why? Why not? share your thoughts and opinions on this topic, as always, using the link directly below, you can also be paid for your thoughts...

Until next time....

Win money playing Free games!!

Playing games for free on your pc, and winning cash prizes (grand prize is over $1,000,000.00!!!!)

Sounds way too good to be true right? I thought so too, until I joined Moola and started making my moola! (that was lame, I know)



Moola brings together the risk and excitement of gambling, with the fun of playing traditional 2-player games. The tier based website starts every single player with 1 penny. Players go head to head in simple strategy and chance games to double their money. Each time a player wins, he doubles his moola, but if you lose, you go back to the beginning. That’s right; you get another penny to start with! Win 30 times in a row and you win over 10.7 million dollars…FOR FREE!

But whats the catch? There is none. The website uses companies like Dell, Orbitz, Chi-Chis, and Bengay pain reliever to receive its funding from advertisements. And from there it goes straight to you. Simply, before each match up the player must watch a 10-20 second advertisement and answer an easy question on the content of what they watched. After that it’s straight to the game. Currently Moola offers two games: Ro Sham Bo Fu also known as rock, paper, scissors, and a game called Gold Rush where opponents try to tilt the scale of a balance beam and try to collect as many pounds of Gold…pretend gold that is. The more you play the better you get. Each game takes around 2-3 minutes to play, and is fun and exciting. As the stakes go up, the games get more intense, and the feeling is incredible. And if you lose, it’s not so bad. It was free in the first place anyways. Just think of yourself as a penny (or more) richer every time you lose. That’s because Moola offers bonuses ranging from 1 extra penny in addition to your free penny to as much as 65 cents or more. Since the computer system works on a randomized level it is virtually impossible to tell when the bonus will come. From personal experience, I have found to receive bonuses 25% of the time. And most of the time their more than I lost in the first place.

To play Moola you must have an invite. (Please do not use more the one email address, the invites are not easy to get.)

http://www.moola.com:80/moopubs/b2b/exc/join.jsp?sid=4d544d744e7a63774f44553d-2

If you join Moola

If you get a Moola Invite and want to start out. You will begin with one penny, you can spin the wheel and play games to attempt to double your money. You need to verify your account using a cell phone eventually to get all your bonus money. I was worried about cell phone spam after the verification but there was none. A lot of people that join get frustrated early on, its hard to get above a dollar at first, it can take a few weeks even. Once you get past that hump, then money trickles in each day you log on. For those with a little extra time on the computer at work, at home or anywhere else I suggest signing up and giving moola a shot.

See Spottt fetch more visitors

To bring more visitors to my blog, I looked for a service to help give my page more exposure. I wanted something that could be both easy to use, and affordable. I found Spottt! Spottt is the latest invention of Phil Kaplan, the founder of Adbrite and earlier of F***edcompany.com.

What I really love is that it's wonderfully straight-forward: It lets sites exchange ads, to boost each other’s traffic (you help me, I help you, what could be better?). Publishers provide an ad for another site, in return for accepting an ad from the other site. Spottt does this for free, but later on will presumably take a cut. Spottt is promising because most sites have ad space that can go empty for periods of time, after an advertising campaign ends, for example.

The idea first arose in 1996, when Tony Hsieh launched a company called Link Exchange, which i'm sure most of you have heard of by now. By its first year, 30,000 Web sites were using it. A million were using it in 1998, when Microsoft bought it for $250 million. However, Microsoft shut it down this year, Hsieh tells us. This is consternating, given the tens of millions of blogs that could use this service. Kaplan has recruited Hsieh as an advisor for the new effort.

The ads are of 125×125 pixel size, and must run “above the fold.” Sites apply for admission to Spottt, and choose a category. Then one shoe retail site can exchange ads with a shoe repair site, for example. Right from the moment you submit your site, Spottt is easy to use. Free...easy to use....and brings visitors to your webpage... really can't get much better then that!

Pregnant Woman Given Speeding Ticket When She Asks For Help

In news that's DEFINITELY strange, and absolutely TRUE:

Boston has some of the most congested roads that I have ever seen. Once I was driving from Logan Airport and trying to enter the tunnel. Traffic was backed up and tempers overheated. I actually witnessed a man exit his car and bend the antenna of another car and beat on the hood with his hands, denting the car.

In another incident, I was driving in Quincy and I admit that I turned on a yellow light that became red as I went through it. I was hailed down by Quincy’s finest who began to verbally berate me, shined a light into my rented XC90 and told me to wait. He also told me that “all you New Yorkers are alike with your fancy Volvos.” It was a rental car and I told him that I am not from New York, but he was such an anger ball, that did not extinguish those flames.

90 minutes later, I was still in the New York-plated Volvo rental car waiting for the anger ball to give me my ticket. Since I was already way late to where I was going, I got out of the car to simply ask him how much longer it would be since there was no reason to detain me for that long except sheer nastiness. I asked him nicely how much longer it would be and he threatened to arrest me. OK. There ought be a law!

In another crazy traffic incident in Boston, a pregnant woman in labor was stuck in traffic. Her husband started driving in the breakdown lane and they actually pulled up behind a state trooper to see if they could continue to use the breakdown lane to reach the next exit. According to the Boston Globe,

Jennifer Davis holding her "evidence" - Charlotte

Not only did the trooper say no, he gave them a $100 citation for driving in the breakdown lane, made them wait for their citation while he finished writing someone else’s ticket, and even seemed to ask for proof of pregnancy, Jennifer Davis said.

“He said, ‘What’s under your jacket?’ I said, ‘My belly,’ ” Davis said. “He waited and gestured with his head like, ‘OK, let’s see it.’ He waited for me to unzip my jacket. I mean, it was so clear that I was pregnant.”

The Davis's say the contretemps occurred after two other troopers they encountered had waved them along in the highway breakdown lane, allowing them to evade gridlock while advising them to be cautious and keep their hazard lights on.

You can't make stuff like this up...There is something wrong with some of the cops in Boston, seriously!

Time to unplug landlines?

Wireless. Take away someone’s wireless capabilities and you instill panic and fear into their ever rapidly beating hearts. Today, very few of us do anything in an average day that doesn’t involve at least a few wireless operations and the first thing you think of when this comes to mind is your wireless extension of ourselves, otherwise known as your cell phone. Most if not all of us would be lost without it, it contains EVERYTHING we need to function and communicate in this world.
It's true though we can make calls, send texts, browse the Internet, and for some, even send emails, It’s not necessarily the specific functions of the wireless that makes it so convenient and today’s MUST HAVE. No, it is the portability.

The very thought that we can do all of these things, including talk on the phone of all things, anywhere, any time. That is why the cell phone was invented. What was normally a gadget for emergency use only has become an everyday essential in today’s world. So the question begs then, what is going to happen to the land line? Are you the type that gabs on your home phone endlessly when you get home from work, or do you find that you spend more time on your cell, even when you are at home, than you do on a "wired" telephone line. There is no question that today’s business still needs the land line, without it the corporate world as we know it would crumble.

Or would it? Let’s revisit that in a few years and see if that’s the case, but when it comes to personal use, the land line is all but obsolete.

A recent study by Harris Interactive and the CTIA Wireless organization found that 40% of teenagers, today’s biggest talk time users, don’t even want a landline anymore. Gone are the arguments about getting your own phone in your room, instead they are replaced with arguments about whether a cell is even necessary. Most parents today would say yes, they want communication access to their kids, ALL the time which is why it is not surprising when these same researchers found that 84% of teens today have their own mobile device, with 15% of those users having their own smartphones even.

Times have changed, More and more people are losing their ‘home number’ because it is simply not a practical use of funds in today’s economy. The cell phone, once a luxury, has replaced the land line as a necessity, and the land line well….why force another monthly bill on yourself if you don’t need to? Do you need land lines anymore? Do you even have one?